If your man is pulling away and you are on the brink of a break up you may want to find out why men leave women. In this article I want to summarize what I have learned from men over the years of coaching women dating and relationship skills.
One of the most frequently asked questions I hear from women is why did he leave me? We were so much in love and all of a sudden he tells me he does not know what he wants and does not think it's going to work.
In this article I will summarize the men's responses and what I learned by interviewing men from all walks of life. If your man is not feeling the way he used to feel about you be sure to check out the resource at the end of this article. It will teach you the ten ways to make a man fall in love with you. But before you do, read this entire article because you will find out the top reasons why men leave women they love.
First, I wanted to know and asked men this question, would you ever leave a woman you love more than anything? Their first reaction was, No way!
Then I asked them to think about it and come up with a well thought of answer. I asked again, what would make you leave a woman you LOVE?
Here are the answers:
No matter how much a man loves a woman, in most cases he will leave his woman if he finds out she has cheated on him.
The reason for that is not so much jealously. Cheating is a slap on a man's ego. A man wants to be with a woman who confirms and boosts his ego. He certainly does not want to be with a woman who makes him humiliated.
Knowing about a woman's affair makes a man humiliated in his own eyes as well as in the eyes of other men he knows.
Fear that other men will find out that his woman is sleeping with somebody else and the humiliation that comes with it, as well as the put-downs he expects from other men makes him feel less of a man.
If you have been cheating on your man beware! There is very little you can do to save your relationship.
Counseling is recommended for both you and your man in order to save your relationship.
Closely following cheating is dishonesty. If you have been hiding something from your man out of fear that if he finds out he will leave you, you might as well fear that he will leave you when he finds out you were dishonest with him.
You should always tell your partner the truth no matter how painful. Lies and deception destroy every type of relationship from friendships through to marriage. Telling your partner the truth is not always the easy option but it is the safest.
When your boyfriend knows that you always tell the truth, he will trust you every time. If, on the other hand, he hears you telling lies to others, even those that you might dismiss as being insignificant or white lies, he will have less belief in you.
If you want true partnership with a man he should enter your relationship knowing who he is dealing with. If you have remorse about something in your past it is better to admit the negative issues in your past and accept responsibility than to make a man enter a relationship not knowing something he needs to know about.
You may be thinking, why should I disclose something I am ashamed of? This is because entering a relationship with the ultimate goal of getting married you should make your partner aware of the things that will matter in the marriage.
He has to feel in the position to make an informative decision when he enters a serious relationship.
A man thinks if a woman can not be trusted and relied upon regarding the little things there is not trust in a relationship. And without trust frankly not many people will stay in a long term relationship.
3. Consistent attempts to make him jealous
Consistent attempts to make your man jealous will create uncertainty about the relationship. A man does not think of you as more desirable because you are constantly flirting with other men. A man thinks you are desirable because he chose you, not because you've chosen to flirt with other men.
When a girlfriend constantly tries to draw attention of other men what it tells a man is that he is not good enough that she has to publicly humiliate him. A man will not want to be with a woman who humiliates him (see reason No.1)
When a woman tries to make a man jealous the only really reason she does that is because of her own insecurities. But a man does not see it that way. He looks at it like this – am I proud to be seen with this woman or do I want to hide away? If she makes him want to hide away, she is deflating his ego, and no man wants to be with a woman with whom his ego gets deflated.
4. Acting indifferent as if she does not care
When a man approaches a woman; when a man dates a woman, and when a man enters a serious relationship with a woman he wants to see her approval. No man will proceed further and move the relationship to the next level when he does not think a woman approves of him.
A man will not ask you out if he does not think you will say YES. A man will not ask you to marry him if he thinks you will say NO.
A man has a sensitive ego. He does not want to get his ego shattered by getting a NO.
You may have heard that playing hard to get and showing indifference is the way to get a man; this can not be farther from the truth. When you show lack of approval a man will not make a fool out of himself by pursuing a woman who does not like him.
One reason for that is that it defeats its purpose to pursue a woman when there is not hope that it will develop into something. The second reason is that not only it is stupid to waste time when no result is warranted; it is also rather embarrassing for a man to spin his wheels only to be laughed at.
5. Acting insecure
When a woman acts insecure this is a big turn off for a man. Acting out of insecurities can take many forms, from seeking approval to fear of abandonment. These are the things that subconsciously tell a man that a woman is not secure enough to know that he loves her and needs constant validation.
Only a man who has severe insecurities himself will welcome this behavior. Such man will see his woman's insecurities as validation to his own. But unless you are with a man who is insecure, acting out of insecurities will drive a man away.
6. Negative disposition
Have you ever met a woman who is always negative? The weather always sucks; if it rains it's bad, but if the sun shines it's also bad because now she is getting sunburn.
She speaks badly about everybody (behind their backs). She comes home from work to unload her issues onto anyone who will listen.
Do you know anyone like that? How does it feel being around that person for thirty minutes?
No man wants to be around a woman who is negative. We are attracted to people who draw us in with positive energy. If you have tendencies to dump your load onto someone the best advice is to hire a shrink and keep your negativity out of your personal and dating life. Or you can sign up for boxing and get your negative energy out that way – very effective, seriously.
7. Emotional draining and nagging
Do you know these women who just nag and nag about something? She's said it once, and yet she continues to bring it up over and over. At some point it starts to sound like background noise. Yep, the more a woman nags the more the man ignores it.
'Take out the garbage. Take out the garbage. Take out the garbage. Blah, blah, blah. '
Instead of nagging, find a solution. What's the problem here? The garbage. How can you have this problem solved without nagging? There are many ways to solve each and every problem. It does not have to be him who takes out the garbage. And not even you. The garbage needs to be taken out. How can this be solved? Restructure your way of thinking from 'I want him to do this and that' to 'what can I do to have such and such result?'
8. She changed
Have you ever heard this saying 'a woman marries a man hoping he'll change but he never does; a man marries a woman hoping she'll never change but she always does'. If your man is falling out of love in order to get him to feel the love he felt for you before become the woman he fell in love with in the first place.
9. She was unappreciative
She never says 'please' and 'thank you'. She takes for granted everything he does for her.
When a man feels he can not make a woman happy he'll stop trying. When he does not hear words of encouragement and the words of appreciation he will not try harder. A man is like a dog – he sits, he gets a treat. Stop giving a dog treats and he'll misbehave.
Reward good behavior and show appreciation when warranted.
10. She stopped taking care of herself
She was the homecoming queen when they fell in love. Ten years and two kids later she is fifty pounds overweight wearing an old robe and slippers around the house. Her hair has not seen a touch of a comb since yesterday and her brows have not been waxed in two years.
He loves her but that sexy new secretary makes his heart race when he comes to the office in the morning. Should he leave his wife he loves but does not feel sexually attracted to or should he have a secret affair? That's the choice a man should make.
If you have been guilty of any of the things above, once you change way you relate to your man, you will see significant boost in how he relates to you! But if you are still puzzled and confused as to why he is pulling away even though you have not done anything wrong, the reason is that sometimes men get too comfortable in a relationship and start taking you for granted not appreciating you as much as they do in the beginning.
It does not mean that he does not love you anymore. It simply means that he does not feel it anymore. He can not tell you why because he does not know the reasons; it's just that you need a plan of actions to make him realize just how important you are to him.
If you are waiting patiently for a man to change his ways you may be missing out on the relationship of your dreams in which you are deeply adored and appreciated.